Catch the Fair One (2022)

Doing some research, I find that women’s boxing rounds last just two minutes; that is, they are one minute shorter than in men’s boxing. That’s exactly how Catch the Fair One feels – like something’s missing. The ending is particularly frustrating, not because of how it plays out, but rather because it comes too soon – like a prize fight that concludes earlier than expected because one of the boxers has a glass jaw and gets, using Chris Tucker’s words from Friday, KTFO; the difference here is that it is the film, co-written and directed by Josef Kubota Wladyka, that KOs itself.

Without revealing the specifics, let’s just say that there is nothing inherently wrong with an climax wherein pretty much everybody bites the dust; in fact, the greatest tragedies – i.e., Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet – end up with high body counts. However, even in death, we are left with the impression that the characters achieve something; Romeo and Juliet, for instance, manage to reconcile Capulets with Montagues, no less.

In contrast, CtFO leaves us hanging – wondering, ‘is this it?’. I’m not saying the movie should have a happy ending, because that’s probably the only way to make matters worse; on the other hand, even a happy ending would be an ending. To continue employing boxing terms, what happens here is more akin to a referee stoppage than any sort of cathartic resolution. By way of comparison, Rocky actually loses to Apollo Creed at the end of the original Rocky, and he still manages to come out triumphant. In that sense, I’m thinking CtFO would have benefitted from an ending along the lines of that of Promising Young Woman – in which the heroine’s sacrifice actually means something.

All things considered, the reason to watch CtFO is Kali Reis’s performance as Kaylee ‘K.O.’ Uppeshau, a woman so tough she sleeps with a razorblade in her mouth. Reis is a real-life boxer who gets a ‘story-by’ credit in CtFO, thus singlehandedly doing more to subvert the ‘dumb jock’ stereotype than most sports movies – or, for that matter, than most athletes (Kyrie Irving, the NBA player/flat-earther, or Aaron Rodgers, the vaccine-averse NFL quarterback come immediately to mind, but the examples are Legion). And for what it’s worth, this is a much better (that is to say, it’s a lot shorter) film about a female boxer than, say, Million Dollar Baby – the advantage of a rushed ending is that the movie at least doesn’t take more than two and half hours to eventually go nowhere, even if nowhere is where we wind up regardless.